Riley Alexander Steven......Riley.
When he was born, the first thing I noticed was the little 'rice krispy' on his ear. I was high on diamorphine, oramorph and lack of sleep the few nights before my Caesarean section did not help.
He was perfect, I drifted off into sleep and was rudely awoken by a Midwife. My boobs were grabbed and squeezed, my sons head thrust towards me. OUCH! I drifted back off.
The next few days were ok as far as Breastfeeding went. Until day 5. RIley slept allllll day. Eight hours of bliss, or so I thought. He woke, he wouldn;t latch. My breasts were engorged. We tried everything to get my areola to soften to enable him to feed. Nothing, not a drop. It was like someone had put a barrier between my milk and him. A call to the hospital suggested 'you are doing everything wrong, because we have had the latest training'. I gave in. Formula. I had not even contemplated it. No steriliser, no bottles. I cried. The midwife came the following morning and told me that she had breastfed all three of her children, but had felt pressuured by her profession to do so.....no support then.
So I gave up. Yep, that easily, I gave up. And that was the end of mine and Riley's feeding experience. I had failed. The one thing we are supposed to do as a mother, and I couldn't get that right. No point in the right direction, no offer of help, failed.
Despite me beating myself up about it, even now, I am proud of the little boy that has grown up from that slepy baby. He is now 5, almost 6. He is doing fab at school, hitting all his targets well before time, an avid reader, enjoys drawing and palying football like any other little boy his age. And also takes after his dad.....couch potato! Television is now banned at our house at certain times of the day. He is allowed to watch a film before bed on some nights, and only an hour or so at weekends. His dad's PS3 is the ultimate evil. His dad has even bought age appropriate games....I would rather it go in the bin!
Riley is confident in his own circle of friends, shy when meeting others at first, but soon comes outof his shell. He can be boisterous and has selective hearing most of the time when playing. He enjoys quiet time with me or dad, reading books and is proud of his growing confidence when reading aloud. I am very lucky to have a boy, which despite saying I didn't want anymore children after Hannah, a boy was on m wish list in my heart.
